Set Free – TRUTH About Sinful Habits

How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong by Leslie Vernick  – The common denominator in all of our destructive behaviors is that we are acting on something that is not true. Gain a new perspective on the troubles God allows in your life.  Come on a journey of personal growth and spiritual discovery as your heart is drawn back to a central tenet of the Gospel: Truth isn’t something you learn, but Someone you know. And the truth will set you free.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, ^[32] and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 ESV)

“As you gain experience in working with the TRUTH Principle, you may want to expand your application of it: Not only can it assist you in the troubles of life, but it can also help you achieve deeper personal change in pervasive habits.” (pg. 153) What distracts you from God more; trials, or sinful habits?

Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. ^[2] For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.  (1 Thessalonians 4:1-2 ESV)

“You may notice repeated themes that emerge both in your responses to your troubles and in the idols of your heart. The TRUTH Principle can be used to help us work on long standing character or personality weaknesses that dominate many of our day to day struggles. Our temperament influences how we work, think, and interact with our family and friends. In our journey towards Christlike character, God seeks to bring balance and maturity to our life through the power of his Spirit, who lives and works within our heart. Our areas of weakness are often difficult to see, let alone change. Often it helps if we can work with other Christians who are more mature than we are and who can help us see the truth about ourselves and our situation more clearly.” (pg. 156)

The ear that listens to life-giving reproof
          will dwell among the wise.
^[32] Whoever ignores instruction despises himself,
          but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.
^[33] The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom,
          and humility comes before honor. (Proverbs 15:31-33 ESV)

What are some of the ways God has opened you up to loving correction from fellow believers? How can you grow in this important area of spiritual vitality?

Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. ¹² Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.¹³ This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. ¹⁵ Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. ¹⁶ He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. (Ephesians 4:11-16 NLT emphasis added)

We all have negative sides to our personality traits. For example, in the description of a Meyers Briggs personality type the positive tendencies are balanced with possible negative tendencies.

ENTP (Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving)
Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another.

There are a couple behavioral patterns that are very common. Let’s examine these themes and apply what we have learned by offering Biblical guidance. You will undoubtedly know someone who struggles in one of these areas. It might even be you.

The Controller  (paraphrased from pages 156-160)
Controllers often have a short fuse. They become troubled over anything they don’t like or anything that doesn’t go the way they think it should. The controller has the idea that if other people would stop doing the things they are upset about that their frustration and aggravation would vanish. This is problematic because in some ways it is true; if absolutely everyone did what the controller wanted he probably wouldn’t get angry.

The controller has lots of “shoulds” for other people to live by:

1. Things should always go the way I think they should go.
2. Other people should think of me and do what I want.
3. People should notice me and respect my wants and feelings.
4. People should stop doing things that upset me.

Do you think the controller will achieve change by learning to control his temper? What will transform him?

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ^[14] I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ^[15] Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. ^[16] Only let us hold true to what we have attained. (Philippians 3:13-16 ESV)

The Pleaser  (paraphrased from pages 161-164)
Pleasers hate conflict and avoid it whenever they can. Pleasers are in a constant state of “try harder” in order to cope with their feelings of anxiety, anger toward self, depression, fear, and hurt.  The pleaser lives with a very different set of idols than the controller.

1. I want people to appreciate all I try to do for them.
2. I want people to like me and be happy with me.
3. I don’t want to ever make anyone upset with me.

The pleaser loves serenity and peace above all. There are many fears that drive the behavior of a pleaser.

1. Fear of losing relationships when people are not happy with me.
2. Fear of angry responses if I tell people how I really feel.
3. Fear of disappointing others.

What Biblical truth would you share with someone whose heart craves the approval of others?

Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. ²⁶ Many seek the ruler’s favor, but justice comes from the Lord. (Proverbs 29:25-26 NLT)

But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. ²¹ He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. (Philippians 3:20-21 NLT)

“The TRUTH Principle shows us how to apply God’s truth to our life and establish it in our heart as well as in our mind so that our behavior reflects it, especially when life goes wrong. This is the pathway of maturity and growth.” (pg. 168)