(This message series is inspired and excerpted from He Loves Me! by Wayne Jacobsen.)
Shamelessly Free
“(When you) become totally dependent upon the life of Christ… (you will never be) so released at last from the self distrust which has made you at one moment an arrogant loud-mouthed braggart, and the next moment the victim of your own self-pity—and either way, always in bondage to the fear of other men’s opinions.” – Major Ian Thomas in The Saving Life of Christ
A Touchdown for Jesus
“He was a high-priced cornerback playing for a professional football team, and suffering from an overdose of media scrutiny. Having sold his talents as a free agent, his subsequent performance had been disappointing. People were saying he was overpriced and overrated. Twice that evening he had been beaten for touchdowns and knew the media would have a field day with his performance. But a few minutes into overtime he intercepted a pass and ran it back for the winning touchdown.
As the Monday night telecast went off the air, they shoved a microphone into the celebration. Through an irrepressible, mile-wide grin he yelled, ‘I just thank the Lord Jesus for giving me the chance to prove myself. I felt like he was saying that I had the faith to make this happen.’
While he celebrated his touchdown, I grieved for his theology. He unmasked his own shame by boasting that his touchdown validated his faith. Can you imagine what he lives with every day, if he links his trust in God to his performance on a football field?
I cringe when most professional athletes talk about God. What comes out often paints God as a success deity, rewarding the faithful with victory. One of those I respect the most said his Super Bowl victory vindicated his obedience to play for a certain team. What about the men God had called to the city who lost the Super Bowl? Was their obedience less significant or their lives less valuable to God?
Other athletes have said that God rewards those with victories who will give him the most glory. Is that why we see people kneel down in the end zone and acknowledge God after a touchdown, but get angry when they miss a tackle or throw an interception?
You can’t blame them, really. To get to the highest echelon of athletic competition, these men and women have learned to live on the success of their performance. They’ve been trained to measure their value by it because that’s how everyone else around them measures it. They’ve obviously had a lot of success to get to that level of competition. But it can result in some greatly distorted values. …’The highs of winning never equal the lows of losing.’ – John Madden” (p. 161)
Have you been drawn to players who display their faith in these ways? Is the author saying we should not acknowledge that our victories are from our Father God? What are some of the performance markers in your life?
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. [17] Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:16-17)
How should we express our enjoyment over victories?
But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. (Galatians 6:14 ESV)
Shame Based Living
“Shame tells us that no one could possibly love us if they really knew what we had been part of in the past or knew the temptations, doubts and motives that still lurk beneath the surface. Don’t you have things you hope no one else ever finds out about you?
So we pretend to be whatever we think will make us feel included and don’t realize that everyone else is doing it too. Almost every time someone asks for my help to deal with a sin or struggle they almost always preface their confession with a disclaimer. ‘I know probably no one else is dealing with this, but…’ Shame often keeps us from being authentic enough to realize that others are struggling with the same things we are.
Feeling inferior is only one side of shame. Those who act superior and those who boast in their accomplishments also are reacting to shame. Those behaviors only act as a cover for a deep sense of personal inadequacy, usually at other people’s expense.
All of this shame makes us easy to manipulate. Our desire to be liked, to fit in, and not be embarrassed are what the world uses to press us into its mold and what we often use to get what we want from others. Most advertising appeals to these motives at some level. The fear of ‘what others might think’ can both restrain us from doing what we know is right and entice us to do what ultimately harms us.” (p. 162)
How are others prompting you to shame? How do you see shame working in your life? How do you cover it up?
Shame Free Living
Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. [2] So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. [3] Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. [4] But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, [5] “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” [6] He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it. [7] Jesus said, “Leave her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of my burial. [8] For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.” (John 12:1-8 ESV)
“A woman whose reputation for sin was well known in her community, walked into the home of a Pharisee as a group of them were sharing a meal with Jesus. …How could she even go into a home of those who despised her so much? And how could she touch Jesus that way when surely everyone in the room would misinterpret her act of love? Shouldn’t she have been too ashamed to even show her face there? You would think so, but no! Obviously she had been deeply touched by Jesus, her sins had been forgiven and now the only thing that mattered to her in that roomful of disparaging looks was the look of appreciation she saw in his eyes.” (p. 163)
How would your life and time with others be different if you cared what the Father thought of you more than what anyone else thinks of you?
“Those who are no longer influenced by shame can finally live authentic lives—the same outside as they are inside. It is a tremendous relief to be known exactly for who you are, allowing people to know both your strengths and your weaknesses. Shame-free people champion reality over image, sincerity over pretentiousness and honesty over deceit. Admittedly there is a cost to living authentically in a broken world as others try to take advantage of you. But no one I’ve met who had done so would go back to the land of pretense. As he teaches you how to walk shamelessly with him, you’ll also discover yourself walking shamelessly in the world. Having been bullied by shame all of your life, often without even recognizing it, you will be amazed at how much your life will change in its absence.” (p. 164)
But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. [18] They said to you, “In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.” [19] It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. [20] But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, [21] keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. [22] And have mercy on those who doubt; [23] save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.
[24] Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, [25] to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 1:17-25 ESV)
For Your Personal Journey:
Ask God how shame-based behaviors are manifesting themselves in your relationship with him. Look for him to identify where boasting, blaming, gossip, self-pity, and worrying about what others think are causing you to live to shame instead of living to him. Also ask him to reveal to you all the places where covering up for shame hurts your relationships with others. Ask God to draw you close enough to him so that you will no longer need to live in bondage to shame.
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