So, how were your words and deeds last week? Were they done in the name of the Lord Jesus? Now, we come to the most practical section of the Book of Colossians – how believers are to act in respect to the family unit! Paul begins with the ladies first (just like a Southern gentleman would). In Colossians 3:18 “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Now, this verse can definitely open a can of worms. Ladies, I will specifically talk to the husbands next week (and will be much harder on them), so keep reading! Also, we will not speak about this verse exhaustively; I will explain a basic meaning and try to give you an example of how my wife and I try to live it out practically.
The first question that we need to ask is “What does to ‘be subject’ mean?” The definition most commonly given is “to place yourself under” such as a military rank. Let’s look at a parallel passage that will help shine some light on our verse in Colossians. Ephesians 5:22-24 states “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”
Wow! I only give the Ephesians passage to show that God has definitely put an order in the family unit. (Now “be subject” in verse 22 of Ephesians 5 is not found in the original Greek text, but I think it is very fair to say that it should be implied because of the context). The husband should be the head of the family – the leader. God puts the responsibility square on every husband’s shoulders. I love the definition the HELPS-Word Study Dictionary gives for “to be subject” – “under God’s arrangement”. Now, this verse has been misused throughout the centuries. Of course, these verses do not allow a wife to break a command from God because her husband tells her to. That is not submission! God’s Word is always final authority! It also doesn’t mean that you stay in an abusive relationship to “submit to your husband”. I think it is so important to read the last part of verse 18 “as is fitting (or proper) in the Lord” or the end of verse 22 in Ephesians 5 “as to the Lord”.
My wife and I try to live this out practically by giving me the “veto” power on major decisions. If we are deciding something that is not mentioned in Scripture and we can’t agree on a solution, I have final veto power. Now, in our 23 years of marriage, I can count on one hand how many times I have used this granted veto power. God has given Joanna much wisdom, so I would be a fool not to fully discuss things with her. There has been many times where I have changed my mind because she had a better view of the situation. However, Joanna will tell people that God will lead our family through me. Now, in His grace, He has the unique ability and control to speak to our hearts the same thing at identical times. Let me give you an example.
Many years ago, I begin to pray “God where ever you want me to go, whatever you want me to do, I am open to it”. I prayed that prayer for several months when one night I felt God calling me (my family) to the mission field. I knew I had heard from God, but now I had to communicate it to Joanna. I was very unsure of what her response would be, so I waited a few weeks. We had never really talked about the mission field. Actually, Joanna felt pretty safe that I would never be open to going to the mission field. The night before I told her about what God was speaking to my heart, she made the following statement to a friend “Don’t you just wish that God would sometimes just stop you in your tracks, and I don’t know, just call you to the mission field.” When I communicated to her the next day what God had laid on my heart, she just began to cry because God had prepared her heart for it already. Nevertheless, God had led our family to the mission field through me. We sold most of our big possessions, I quit my job, we started raising support, and we went to the mission field. Joanna showed a beautiful picture of Colossians 3:18 as she left our extended family and safety of America to be led to foreign soil through her husband who was seeking the Lord. Now, I know what some of you ladies might be thinking – well my husband doesn’t make wise decisions. This is why God talks to the husbands next and his responsibility toward his wife. You will have to come back next week to hear about that!